


Bigger

by pandacheeze



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Frotting, KidLu, M/M, Orgasm, Slice of Life, adorkable Luffy, couple's bantering, indulgent Kid, reciprocal handjob, sofa sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21694636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandacheeze/pseuds/pandacheeze
Summary: When a creep sends you their dick pic, the best way to flip the bird is to send a pic of your boyfriend's bigger dick right back.
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Monkey D. Luffy
Comments: 7
Kudos: 248





	Bigger

**Author's Note:**

> "Gizao" is what Luffy calls Kid in the Wano Arc, means something like spiky hair.

"Egh!" 

Luffy's grunt of disgust causes Kid to divert his attention from their Chromecast TV to the shorter male.

"What?" he asks, eyes zeroing on Luffy's phone screen. With the way they're lounging beside each other on the sofa, he can see an image of some guy's penis.

"Some weirdo sent me a dick pic. Nasty!" Luffy explains, face twisted in a sour grimace. On closer inspection, Kid understands why. 

The person's crotch takes the crown of cringe-worthiness. Flappy folds. Clammy skin. Stubby pubes. An erection that's maybe even shorter than Kid's middle finger. Above the photo is a chat bubble that reads **Hi twinkie. Check out this big gun ;)**

"Why're ya talkin' to him in the first place?" Kid asks unfazed. He knows Luffy is a friendly guy who likes to talk to every person (and animal) he meets. It's how he got chummy with Kid in the first place. But as transparent as Luffy may be, he wouldn't be so much of a jackass to chat and cheat on Kid in plain sight like this.

"I'm not! This creep just texted me out of nowhere then bam! Dick pic. I don't even know how he got my ID," Luffy whines exasperatedly, all the while scrolling down the chat room to show his boyfriend that it's truly a one-sided conversation. "And who's he calling twink? I'm over twenty, not ten-ish."

Kid wraps one beefy arm around Luffy's lanky shoulders.

"Well, you _are_ kinda compact-sized, but for him to call _that_ big? That's sad, man. He'd piss his pants if he saw mine," the redhead says, slowly shaking his head in pity of the other dude's self-conceit. 

And then Luffy straightens up so fast his temple clips the taller male's jaw.

"Unf-!"

"That's it! You're a genius, Gizao!" he yells before hooking his thumb under Kid's elastic waistband and tugging both his shorts and boxers down altogether.

"I'm going to send that pervert a pic of your dick so he can eat his heart out!" 

One hand holding his smartphone in camera mode, Luffy uses his other hand to cradle Kid's cock so he can take a snapshot. Although limp, it's still obviously bigger than the stranger's wiener.

But Kid's own hand shoots out to grab Luffy's wrist.

"What the hell are ya doin'?" he asks, voice low and brow ridges drawn together in a knot while he stares down the younger male.

Luffy lowers his phone and glances off elsewhere guiltily, realizing that he might've gone too far. Not everyone is okay with showing their private parts in a chatroom.

"I, uh... just wanted to... prank him a little," he says, mouth puckered in that silly little pout of his. 

Eyes still fixed in a glower, Kid suddenly upturns his frown into a sinister sneer.

"A little? You can't go half-baked if you wanna embarrass the shit outta that prick. Gotta go all the way. Take a pic when I'm rock hard, yeah?" Kid suggests and starts guiding Luffy's curled fingers toward the tip of his member then back to the base. 

Relieved that Kid was just joking with him, Luffy replies with some _shi, shi, shi_ before stroking Kid's cock with determination. 

Kid watches his simple-minded boyfriend attempt to multitask, one hand jacking Kid off, the other holding the smartphone above to snap several photos for later selection. Sometimes the wrist of Luffy's phone-wielding hand would flick along, or he'd press Kid's hardening shaft instead of the phone's screen to adjust the focus.

Kid lets out a huff that sounds half-amused, half-aroused when Luffy's thumb clicks his dick again, earning a whine from his boyfriend.

"Gizao~! I'm trying to concentrate here!"

The redhead merely grins in response and continues to observe Luffy's tactics. He loops his own hand around the shorter male's waist, copping a feel of the bare skin between his clothes. 

Luffy remains oblivious to Kid's advance. His attention quota is already full with making the erection in his hand picture perfect. Kid's cock now stands stiff, complexion all ruddy due to the incessant rubbing. Luffy swipes the viscous liquid from the sensitive tip to give the rest of the length a nice sheen, causing Kid to moan and subtly buck into his warm, slippery fingers. Once Luffy's satisfied with the overall look and feel, he takes another photo.

"Hey. I want my abs in the frame, too. Make'im feel bad 'bout his pot belly," the larger male demands as he lifts up the hem of his tank top.

"Body shaming is mean, Gizao," replies Luffy but he complies anyway. That rude bastard started it first by showing his ugly junk to him. Boo-fucking-hoo if he sees Kid's monster cock and develops body awareness issues.

Luffy browses through several recent pics of Kid's cock and decides that yes, the one with Kid's valley of abs really does look the best. It's sort of like they give an artistic touch to the fleshy pillar in the middle of the image. Visual composition and all that stuff.

He sends the image to the creep, adding in blaring capitals **MY BOYFRIEND'S IS WAAAY BIGGER >:P **

And it's as if the person was attentively waiting for Luffy's reply, because he immediately types back **You just googled that pic. No way your skinny high school ass has a boyfriend yet. Lemme be ur 1st? I'll pop ur cherry real nice ;)**

"Oh my god, the _nerve!_ He still thinks I'm a virgin teenager. That's insulting in so many ways, _"_ grumblesLuffy.

At this point, any sensible person would ignore and block such an infuriating son of a bitch, but both Luffy and Kid have a competitive streak, so after Kid peeps at the message over Luffy's shoulder, he grabs Luffy's stained hand.

"Let's flip him off together. Yeah like this, so he can see yer hand, too. At least he should have enough brain cells to realize that the smaller one is yours."

With Kid's huge hand wrapped around Luffy's own, their middle fingers raised side by side, Luffy snaps another photo and adds **BETTER PRAY HE DOESN'T FIND AND RIP YOU A NEW ASSHOLE, YOU ASSHOLE!**

He waits for a retort but Kid snatches the phone and drops it on the side table. 

"Enough o'that fucker. Ya gonna leave me high 'n' dry like this or what?" he asks with a wolfish grin, chin gesturing at his unfaltering boner. 

Turning to face the taller male properly, Luffy mirrors Kid's wicked smile. "You know I _never_ start what I can't finish." His usually round eyes are now hooded with mischief as he climbs atop the older male's lap. 

Then with Luffy's boxers down, his dick out, and their hands wrapped around each other, they race to make the other orgasm first. Kid's stamina is no joke, but Luffy can last astoundingly long when he wants to. He's not exactly small, but Kid's paw simply engulfs his entire length, black-nailed thumb swiveling over the oozing slit. In retaliation, Luffy wrings the girth just beneath the mushroom head of Kid's cock. 

Their groans amplify as they abuse one another's weak spot. Suddenly, Kid dabs his other hand at the pre-cum pooling between them, lathers his middle finger, then jams it beneath the smaller male.

"H-Hey! No fair!" Luffy protests, though he doesn't do a thing to stop his boyfriend, who prods around his hole before easing his slick fingertip inside up to the first knuckle. Without any proper lube or stretching, this as far as Kid can penetrate him at the moment, but it's good enough. Relaxed and hypersensitive from arousal, Luffy's rim winks around Kid's digit as he moans.

"Ngh! Gizao~"

Sliding his finger in and out in tandem with fisting the other's cock, Kid drinks in the sinful sinewy figure before him.

"Another, another!" Luffy whimpers. Having completely lost his concentration on his task at hand, he cinches the taller male's tank top as he writhes about. It'd be more gratifying to hear him verbally plead, but his lover is already asking with his body ever so sweetly, so Kid jabs another thick finger inside.

" _Ahhhh!!_ " 

Walls contracting and toes twitching in spasms, Luffy goes rigid as liquid ecstasy courses through his nerves. 

Kid keeps rubbing both ends until Luffy's cock yields its last spurt, his breath now reduced to rasps. The taller male leans in to lap along Luffy's sweat-damp neck, pausing to nibble his tilted jawline.

When Luffy snaps out of limbo, he shoves Kid against the backrest.

"You cheated!" 

The way his fingers scrape down Kid's chiseled torso rekindles the fire in his loins, and when they finally seize Kid's length, his hips rock up on their own.

"You liked it," Kid counters, casually fucking up into the punishingly tight fist while his lidded brick-red eyes hold Luffy's accusatory stare.

"Cheeeaterrrrrr," drawls Luffy as he jacks Kid off roughly, just how Kid likes it. 

"Didn't hear you complainin' when I was knuckles-deep in yer ass."

"That's the point! You _know_ I like that. I would've _totally_ held out longer if you hadn't--mrff!!"

The redhead shuts Luffy up with his mouth then flips them both sideways. Kid’s bulky body molds Luffy’s into the couch, thickset frame eclipsing the slim build entirely. With his pelvis settled between Luffy’s spread thighs, Kid ruts against Luffy's taint, all slick now with their mixed fluids. They kiss fiercely, tongue and teeth and all. Snarling. Clawing. Frotting. 

It doesn't take long for Kid's rhythm to become erratic. A few more choppy thrusts and his cock spews jizz all over Luffy's groin. Forearms anchored on the cushions, he grinds his surging orgasm into Luffy's supple skin, groaning upon every tide of pleasure. 

"Hngh... Luffy..."

After Kid has caught his breath, he pushes up and they both automatically look at the white smears between them. 

"Wanna take another pic?" Kid suggests, glancing at the phone on the low table through his disheveled bangs.

Amused by the prospect of flaunting a final photo of their spent cocks in the pervy stranger's face, Luffy grabs his phone.

* * *

Kid makes a gagging sound akin to hurling.

Sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of their dining table, Luffy looks up from his bowl. Kid is staring at his phone in undiluted disgust, sort of like his face when he saw Luffy pick out boogers in public for the first time, but more extreme.

"Whassa' matter?" he asks, gulping down a mouthful of noodles.

Instead of answering, Kid shows him the screen, and Luffy is glad that he swallowed his food before being shown the image of an unshapely, cellulite-riddled rear end.

**Hi, Big Red. Wanna stick your rod in this thicc ass instead?**

"Heyyy, it's that dude from yesterday," Luffy says. He recognizes the sender's user name. "He couldn't get me so he's taking a chance on you now? Wow, desperate much." 

Pausing, he shovels in some chunks of braised pork, though with less gusto. Even a glutton like him lost some appetite after seeing that revolting butt pic.

" _Big Red?_ As in the fact that you're a towering redhead, or does he just mean your big red dick that he saw?"

"Dunno, dun' care," Kid replies, frantically tapping the screen. "Imma report 'n' block this stalker for good. Hope he doesn't find a way to contact either of us again."

"Good riddance and amen to that," adds Luffy as he hastily crosses himself with his chopsticks. 

**Author's Note:**

> Readers: Collectively screaming for updates of my many ongoing fics  
> Me: Writes a brand new, rare-pairing fic nobody asked for
> 
> I know, I'm such a little shit, but this ship needs more luv dammit.


End file.
